There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
