dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
