We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
