Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
