Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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