There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
