She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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