Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
