dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
