and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
