I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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