let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
