i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I'm passing your future prison.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
