last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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