The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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