38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
