Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
