sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize