I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
