The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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