i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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