Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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