Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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