I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
