I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
