paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
