I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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