pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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