I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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