Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize