Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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