i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I need water and some morals
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
