dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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