You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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