You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
