I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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