The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
