Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
