I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
