I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
