i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
