oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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