every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Bring me that man meat
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
