I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize