i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
