So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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