why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
