what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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