If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
