Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
