yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize