That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
