This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
there is puke in my bra ... again
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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