Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
How's work?
Spinning.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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