i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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