i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
