uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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