Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
