Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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