Midget sex pt 2 tonight
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
