OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
