do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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