I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
