And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
