so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
