is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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