Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
