i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
