Duck Duck Cougar?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
