I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
