There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
