I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
