well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
