It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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