Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize