i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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