69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
