I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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