We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
