are you still at the devil's house?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
