He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
