yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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