its not stalking. its research.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize