dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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