glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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