i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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