Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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