He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
